This week I was super off my game cooking-wise; Saturday and Sunday I stressed the shit out, resulting in having the literal shits on Monday (that or maybe the jerky’s gone off?) and having to call out sick for fear of pooping myself while working. Between bouts of enthusiastic diarrhea, I put together furniture because I am a boss, annnnd promptly either whatever is wrong with my insides flared up again or I just really fucked my back, because the next day I could barely walk, even to use the bathroom. I called out again and spent the day feeling horribly guilty lying flat in bed trying not to hallucinate from pain pills.

I couldn’t bring myself to call out any other day this week, and it’s slowly getting better, but I’m basically in immense pain ALL THE FREAKING TIME and I am 100% done with it. This has meant that Fiance had to do all the cooking this week, which is bullshit – and also he’s lazy and doesn’t follow my meal plan because it’s too ambitious for his simple ways. 😛

I threw together the slow-cooker Tikka yesterday, and it was a massive disappointment. SO bland. I can’t even fathom why it’s so fucking bland. There were so many spices! It smelled SO GOOD! I am going to doctor the leftovers with some green curry paste, but – later. I am too annoyed to deal with it now.

This week we largely subsisted off of meat cooked on the stove with spices, because that’s how Fiance do – though to his credit, on Monday he made some lovely steak and cauli-mash and broccoli, but the rest of the days he wasn’t really wanting to cook, which I get.

Next week, we have to empty our ENTIRE FUCKING KITCHEN so they can spray for roaches in all the cabinets, and it SUCKS because it’s on freaking Wednesday, the exact day my sister arrives to stay with us. 😐 ALL THE WORK WE PUT IN making our house immaculate and lovely, and making a spot just for her in our dining room – well, time to unpack the entire kitchen into the dining room, because where the hell else to put shit? Last time we had to do this was in December, and I only finished putting stuff -back- this week.

We’ll have to do better this time, I like having a nice house. 😦

Anyway, here’s menu planning/grocery list for next week’s keto extravaganza:

– Sunday: Crockpot roast, cauliflower mac and cheese, broccoli
– Monday: Parmesan Crusted Pork Chops with Cauli Mash
– TuesdayTuna Patties, steamed broccoli
– Wednesday: Omelettes with leftover roast, sauteed squash with garlic, butter, and Parmesan cheese, cauli mash
– Thursday: Monterey Chicken with steamed broccoli
– Friday: Pizza Day! Cobb salad on the side – bacon, avocado, boiled egg, blue cheese
– Saturday: Thai Chicken Flatbread Pizza, keto-modified Vietnamese Cabbage Salad

Grocery list below!

– Pork Chops (for two)
– Chicken Breasts (big package; enough for three, plus leftover to make shredded chicken)
– Bacon

– Shredded colby/jack (whichever)
– Shredded cheddar
– Cheese sticks
– Mozarella (x1 big bags)
– Cream cheese (Package of two should be fine)
– Big container Heavy Whipping Cream
– 18 eggs
– Hard boiled peeled eggs (if can find; if not, I’ll do some myself from our egg stock)

– Cauliflower (x3)
– Broccoli (x2)
– Salad greens
– Red onion (x1)
– Lime (x1)
– Bean sprouts (if can find) (enough to scatter on top of a pizza)
– Green onions
– Cilantro
– Mint (if can find)
– 1 small hot chili pepper (serrano or thai; something red, please, if possible.)
– Two packages shredded cabbage

– More Tuna
– Dried parsley
– Rice wine vinegar
– Peanuts (unsalted roasted, small container is fine)

– Toilet paper
– Laundry detergent


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